Get High, Make an Army

yourplayersaidwhat:

(We’re in an ancient forest, trying to find out why a messenger who travelled through it can’t remember anything that happened and failed to deliver his message. The further along we get, the more affected the mushrooms in the forest, which impairs our judgement and more or less makes us very high. Antonius, our tactician is the first to be affected and decides to shove his head into a hole in the ground.)

GM: “You find a colony of underground moles.”

Tactician (speaking with his head underground): “Mole People!!!!” 

Me and the other player: o.O

Tactician (OOC): “I want to convince them to be *my* people.”

GM: “…Roll cunning.” 

Tactician (rolls stupidly well): “Mole People!!! SERVE ME!!!!”

GM: “…Half the moles decide to leave their homes and follow you.” 

Tactician (head still underground): “Yeesssss! My expendable slaves!” (flailing as we pull him out of the ground) “I will create an army!!!!!”